This is the hardest time of the year to keep a consistent running routine going. First it has been a very cold December this year in Minnesota. It is so hard to get motivated to run early in the morning when it is only zero degrees outside and dark. If I don’t get my run done in the morning chances are I’ll won’t run in the afternoon or evening. I’m a morning runner. There also has been plenty of snowy days that make it more difficult to run outside, and I don’t like the treadmill. Some call it the dreadmill. Time seems to nearly come to a halt on the treadmill. But when the outside temperatures are below zero and the wind chill factor is something like 30 below, the treadmill is a much better choice.
Then there are all the holiday gatherings and Christmas shopping and cleaning the house for holiday gatherings and …….. My problem is that I cannot do a quick short run; I need to always make my workouts a long run. I need to change my thinking and do just a short run if there is not much time. It’s much better to do short runs on a consistent basis than an occasional long run. Furthermore, I could try something different with a short run, like interval or Fartlek training (a method developed by the Swedes), which helps with improving speed.
This week has started well with two 6 mile runs. Tomorrow is the last day of 2008 and I plan to finish the year with a 6 mile run outside, no matter snow, ice, cold or dark.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Sunday, December 28, 2008
My Darkest Days; My Brightest Shine
I recently had my one year anniversary of the infamous day I got that call from my doctor – you have cancer. I was laid up in bed recovering from a hernia surgery and my wife was out all day doing errands and picking my boys from school events. I was waiting for my surgeon to call my about the results of a lymph node biopsy, but I was expecting the news to be something like, it’s nothing, just a virus or an infection, or irritation from the hernia. I was not expecting, “you have an aggressive form of cancer”. The good news my doctor said was, “it’s curable in up to about 50% of the cases”. Okay, I’m typically the-glass-is-half-full kind of guy, for when it comes to my life, I like the glass at least 99.999% full if not overflowing. A 50% cure rate just didn’t seem like good news at first, and I didn’t like the “up to” part neither. What’s with that “up to”?
Just after my surgeon called I started to Google my disease. My surgeon warned me that I would find some really scary stuff on the internet and I did. I learned what “up to” meant. The 50% cure rate doesn’t apply to all of those who have diffused large b-cell lymphoma, only those who are in stage I, where the cancer is caught early and has not spread beyond the lymph nodes and not all lymph nodes are affected. Depending on the stage of the cancer, the water in the glass can get pretty low. The news hit me like a sledge hammer; I was knocked dizzy and there was a whirlwind thoughts going through my mind. I had to pull it together before my wife got home.
When my wife arrived I nailed her with the news before she even got her coat off in the entryway. My poor wife, she was blindsided by a Mack truck. I kept the news positive though, focusing on the 50% cure rate and I think I left out the “up to” until later. That night I don’t remember any grieving, we were mostly numb.
Because the cancer was very aggressive I was placed on the fast track for testing to see the extent of the cancer and determine the best course of treatment. The next day I got a CT scan and that showed a big tumor in my gut and a small one in my armpit, but the rest of my organs looked pretty good. The following week would be a PET scan and a bone marrow biopsy, all showing that the cancer was only in my lymph nodes on only one side of my body. So we were relieved to find it was only stage I. One way to look at a 50% cure rate is take a six shooter pistol, load half the barrels with bullets, then over the course of a couple of years you need to place the pistol to your head and pull the trigger. And that’s better because if you’re unlucky at least you go quickly without pain. That is a really dark way to think about it and even with the positive attitude I normally have, those kinds of thoughts were flooding my mind for the first few weeks after I got the call.
Even though I was devastated by the news, I had to take care of my family. The day after I got my diagnoses I started to seriously plan for my death. Not that I was giving up. I had every intention of fighting the cancer and wining. But with a 50% chance one has to be pragmatic about things. I needed to know that my family would be ok if the dice don’t go my way. So I checked into my life insurance policies and added up our debt to find that my family would be ok. I thought about who would be a father figure for my boys and how this would affect my daughter who has two kids of her own and would my wife find someone else that would make her happy. That was a tough day with lots of tears.
It was just before Christmas that all this happened and there was many family gatherings planned for the season. You would think that this would be a good time to gather with family, but it was really a hard time. My wife and I were exhausted by the anxiety of dealing with all the tests, hospital visits and the grim prospects of the future. Together we did our share of grieving, so when it was time to be with other family members and friends my wife and I were all grieved out. We just wanted to put all the cancer stuff on the back burner and have a good time, but there was always someone who wanted to leave the fun and joy behind and turn the party into a bereavement session. They have good intentions, it’s just their results really suck. Fortunately I was prepared and had my shields up (my big impenetrable smile) and remained mostly positive during the holiday gatherings, but my poor wife was nearly crushed, once again blindsided by a Mac truck.
About three weeks after my hernia surgery I was able to start running. Since it was cold outside and my wife believes in the wife’s tale of being out in the cold will cause one to get sick, I was relegated to run on our treadmill. Nevertheless I was just happy to run. It was one of the best medicines for my mental health. I felt the strongest when I was running, and the harder I ran the stronger I felt. My wife knows I have a tendency to go overboard with things and she feared I would go too far with my running. But when I first started running again after my surgery I was more focused on my own needs and forgot that some compromise is required to consider my wife’s needs. One morning I was running on the treadmill and my wife was upstairs. It may have been the day just after a chemo treatment. When I completed my run I went upstairs to find my wife hunched over with her body shaking in sobs. That day I fully realized there were two people fighting my cancer. We had different needs and some compromise was required. I promised I would rest the first day after chemo and wouldn’t run until the second day, which was also a compromise on my wife’s part. If she had her way I wouldn’t run for a few days after chemo.
Just before I got cancer I would spend some time thinking about the future. My wife and I have plans for traveling around the USA on our Harley’s. All of sudden, it was difficult to think about anything other than making it through the day and completing chemo. There were times when thoughts of the future entered my mind, only to be blown away with thoughts of, “why bother, I may not be around in the future anyways”.
One night my wife and I were lying in bed snuggled to each other and she said while breaking into sobbing tears how scared she was. At that instant all my pent-up anguish escaped and I too burst into sobbing tears. My wife and I were holding each other while our bodies shook uncontrollably with each sob. That was a turning point for us; we hit rock bottom. From that night forward we continued to get emotionally stronger and more positive about life.
A couple of months after my diagnosis I was visiting with my father. I think we were out for a walk at his place out in the country. I basically told him that I was ready to die, but not in those words. I told him that I was happy with what life has given me and I had no regrets, that I felt fortunate even if the cancer takes me soon. I had no feelings of resentment. It wasn’t that I was giving up my fight against cancer, no way! I plan to fight to the bitter end anything that threatens to take my life. I just finally realized that I was not invincible and there was no good reason to worry about the things we cannot control.
These were the darkest days of my life. But from the darkness came my brightest shine. The love between my wife and I got much deeper and stronger. My oldest Brother and I were drifting apart with busy lives. In the past we have done many adventures together, but as time wore on we were hardly talking to each other. Now we meet often at a coffee shop to discuss plans of our next adventure like the one we did last summer in the Minnesota Boundary Waters Canoe Area. I don’t need big things in my life for enjoyment. Just walking out to my mailbox, hearing the birds, seeing the trees and feeling a cool breeze across my face makes my day. I’ve tended to be a recluse, but now being with people has become very important. Rather than running with a headset listening to music and withdrawn from passersby I now run without music and greet everyone I can.
Shortly after being diagnosed I started to think about running Grandma’s marathon. I created this blog at first to publicly announce my intentions in order to provide some motivation to go though with it. And I admit that I like public attention and like to brag every now and then. I saw this cancer thing and running Grandma’s marathon as Chemo-Man as an opportunity to get some fame and bragging rights. But quickly I realized that this could be an opportunity to do something good, to turn the cancer thing into something positive and constructive and help others who may be going through something similar. The fame really didn’t come, I guess running a marathon in a tutu is a better way to get on the nightly news and in the paper, but I got something much better. Being able to make a positive difference in the lives of others, even though it’s just a few, is worth all the effort.
We all have dark days in our lives. Some people have much darker days than others; I can think of much worse things than getting cancer. The biggest difference though is how one reacts. There are basically two ways people approach dark days. Some cower into a corner and wallow in their grief, blame others for their problems and only see darkness. But some look into the dark and see light. They refuse to accept defeat, take responsibility for their life, and make something good happen.
If I was given a chance to do it all over again, I would never decide to have cancer. I think I would have done just fine without it. Life would have thrown me plenty of opportunities to grow. Furthermore, I am far from being out of the woods. Statistically, there is about a 20% chance I won’t be around four years from now. I don’t need that. However, this is what life has giving me and I plan to turn it into something good. What kind of person are you when the days turn dark? Do you only drop to your knees and let darkness swallow you up, or do you stand up and try to shine? The wonderful thing is that you have a choice.
Just after my surgeon called I started to Google my disease. My surgeon warned me that I would find some really scary stuff on the internet and I did. I learned what “up to” meant. The 50% cure rate doesn’t apply to all of those who have diffused large b-cell lymphoma, only those who are in stage I, where the cancer is caught early and has not spread beyond the lymph nodes and not all lymph nodes are affected. Depending on the stage of the cancer, the water in the glass can get pretty low. The news hit me like a sledge hammer; I was knocked dizzy and there was a whirlwind thoughts going through my mind. I had to pull it together before my wife got home.
When my wife arrived I nailed her with the news before she even got her coat off in the entryway. My poor wife, she was blindsided by a Mack truck. I kept the news positive though, focusing on the 50% cure rate and I think I left out the “up to” until later. That night I don’t remember any grieving, we were mostly numb.
Because the cancer was very aggressive I was placed on the fast track for testing to see the extent of the cancer and determine the best course of treatment. The next day I got a CT scan and that showed a big tumor in my gut and a small one in my armpit, but the rest of my organs looked pretty good. The following week would be a PET scan and a bone marrow biopsy, all showing that the cancer was only in my lymph nodes on only one side of my body. So we were relieved to find it was only stage I. One way to look at a 50% cure rate is take a six shooter pistol, load half the barrels with bullets, then over the course of a couple of years you need to place the pistol to your head and pull the trigger. And that’s better because if you’re unlucky at least you go quickly without pain. That is a really dark way to think about it and even with the positive attitude I normally have, those kinds of thoughts were flooding my mind for the first few weeks after I got the call.
Even though I was devastated by the news, I had to take care of my family. The day after I got my diagnoses I started to seriously plan for my death. Not that I was giving up. I had every intention of fighting the cancer and wining. But with a 50% chance one has to be pragmatic about things. I needed to know that my family would be ok if the dice don’t go my way. So I checked into my life insurance policies and added up our debt to find that my family would be ok. I thought about who would be a father figure for my boys and how this would affect my daughter who has two kids of her own and would my wife find someone else that would make her happy. That was a tough day with lots of tears.
It was just before Christmas that all this happened and there was many family gatherings planned for the season. You would think that this would be a good time to gather with family, but it was really a hard time. My wife and I were exhausted by the anxiety of dealing with all the tests, hospital visits and the grim prospects of the future. Together we did our share of grieving, so when it was time to be with other family members and friends my wife and I were all grieved out. We just wanted to put all the cancer stuff on the back burner and have a good time, but there was always someone who wanted to leave the fun and joy behind and turn the party into a bereavement session. They have good intentions, it’s just their results really suck. Fortunately I was prepared and had my shields up (my big impenetrable smile) and remained mostly positive during the holiday gatherings, but my poor wife was nearly crushed, once again blindsided by a Mac truck.
About three weeks after my hernia surgery I was able to start running. Since it was cold outside and my wife believes in the wife’s tale of being out in the cold will cause one to get sick, I was relegated to run on our treadmill. Nevertheless I was just happy to run. It was one of the best medicines for my mental health. I felt the strongest when I was running, and the harder I ran the stronger I felt. My wife knows I have a tendency to go overboard with things and she feared I would go too far with my running. But when I first started running again after my surgery I was more focused on my own needs and forgot that some compromise is required to consider my wife’s needs. One morning I was running on the treadmill and my wife was upstairs. It may have been the day just after a chemo treatment. When I completed my run I went upstairs to find my wife hunched over with her body shaking in sobs. That day I fully realized there were two people fighting my cancer. We had different needs and some compromise was required. I promised I would rest the first day after chemo and wouldn’t run until the second day, which was also a compromise on my wife’s part. If she had her way I wouldn’t run for a few days after chemo.
Just before I got cancer I would spend some time thinking about the future. My wife and I have plans for traveling around the USA on our Harley’s. All of sudden, it was difficult to think about anything other than making it through the day and completing chemo. There were times when thoughts of the future entered my mind, only to be blown away with thoughts of, “why bother, I may not be around in the future anyways”.
One night my wife and I were lying in bed snuggled to each other and she said while breaking into sobbing tears how scared she was. At that instant all my pent-up anguish escaped and I too burst into sobbing tears. My wife and I were holding each other while our bodies shook uncontrollably with each sob. That was a turning point for us; we hit rock bottom. From that night forward we continued to get emotionally stronger and more positive about life.
A couple of months after my diagnosis I was visiting with my father. I think we were out for a walk at his place out in the country. I basically told him that I was ready to die, but not in those words. I told him that I was happy with what life has given me and I had no regrets, that I felt fortunate even if the cancer takes me soon. I had no feelings of resentment. It wasn’t that I was giving up my fight against cancer, no way! I plan to fight to the bitter end anything that threatens to take my life. I just finally realized that I was not invincible and there was no good reason to worry about the things we cannot control.
These were the darkest days of my life. But from the darkness came my brightest shine. The love between my wife and I got much deeper and stronger. My oldest Brother and I were drifting apart with busy lives. In the past we have done many adventures together, but as time wore on we were hardly talking to each other. Now we meet often at a coffee shop to discuss plans of our next adventure like the one we did last summer in the Minnesota Boundary Waters Canoe Area. I don’t need big things in my life for enjoyment. Just walking out to my mailbox, hearing the birds, seeing the trees and feeling a cool breeze across my face makes my day. I’ve tended to be a recluse, but now being with people has become very important. Rather than running with a headset listening to music and withdrawn from passersby I now run without music and greet everyone I can.
Shortly after being diagnosed I started to think about running Grandma’s marathon. I created this blog at first to publicly announce my intentions in order to provide some motivation to go though with it. And I admit that I like public attention and like to brag every now and then. I saw this cancer thing and running Grandma’s marathon as Chemo-Man as an opportunity to get some fame and bragging rights. But quickly I realized that this could be an opportunity to do something good, to turn the cancer thing into something positive and constructive and help others who may be going through something similar. The fame really didn’t come, I guess running a marathon in a tutu is a better way to get on the nightly news and in the paper, but I got something much better. Being able to make a positive difference in the lives of others, even though it’s just a few, is worth all the effort.
We all have dark days in our lives. Some people have much darker days than others; I can think of much worse things than getting cancer. The biggest difference though is how one reacts. There are basically two ways people approach dark days. Some cower into a corner and wallow in their grief, blame others for their problems and only see darkness. But some look into the dark and see light. They refuse to accept defeat, take responsibility for their life, and make something good happen.
If I was given a chance to do it all over again, I would never decide to have cancer. I think I would have done just fine without it. Life would have thrown me plenty of opportunities to grow. Furthermore, I am far from being out of the woods. Statistically, there is about a 20% chance I won’t be around four years from now. I don’t need that. However, this is what life has giving me and I plan to turn it into something good. What kind of person are you when the days turn dark? Do you only drop to your knees and let darkness swallow you up, or do you stand up and try to shine? The wonderful thing is that you have a choice.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Proof that Exercise Dramatically Improves Physical and Psychological Status of Cancer Patients during Chemotherapy
One major purpose of my blog is to promote exercise as a way to improve life during chemotherapy or any other time. I’ve used my experience as proof that exercise can make a dramatic difference in how one feels during chemo. However, my experience alone is not scientific proof that exercise makes a difference. Fortunately, scientific (controlled) studies have been conducted and the results are just mind blowing.
One controlled study was done with sixty-three patients who were scheduled to receive HIGH-DOSE chemotherapy. One week before starting chemotherapy, patients were evaluated with resting and stress electrocardiograms and echocardiograms. Furthermore, their psychologic status was evaluated with a special test. One patient was excluded from the study after discovering they had cardiac disease. The remaining patients were split into two groups: 29 patients in an exercise group and 33 patients in a non-exercise group.
The exercise group used a bed ergometer to “bike” in bed for 30 minutes a day with an intensity level high enough to achieve at least 50 percent of their cardiac reserve. The exercise group was able to train 82 percent of the time. Both groups were again tested after completion of chemotherapy.
At the beginning of the study, there were no differences in characteristics between the two groups. During and after chemotherapy, the exercise group showed significant improvement in obsessive-compulsive traits, anxiety, interpersonal sensitivity and phobic anxieties. They also showed a reduction in psychological stress compared with the non-exercise group. During HIGH-DOSE chemotherapy, patients in the exercise group did not have any change in fatigue level, while the non-exercise group showed a significant increase in fatigue. Read the previous sentence over and over again and try to appreciate the significance of it.
There is no drug, no food, and no other thing on this planet that would have that much positive impact on high-dose chemo patients than exercise. To me this is so profound that all cancer patients who don’t have some significant risk associated with exercise, such as cardiac disease, should be strongly encouraged to exercise. But much of the medical industry has not put this into practice. And there’s more profound news. In upcoming posts I will share with you studies that show exercise not only improves physical and psychological fitness during chemotherapy, it improves one’s chances of survival over cancer after chemotherapy.
I search the internet for proof on the benefits of exercise for caner patients. I’m very careful about which sources I use. The best source is actual scientific papers that have been published. I also have confidence in internet articles published by well know, reputable organizations, such as the American Cancer Society. Here is a link to the paper reporting on the study mentioned above. Hopefully this works.
http://www3.interscience.wiley.com/cgi-bin/fulltext/75503426/PDFSTART
So there you go – scientific proof that exercise does have a dramatic difference improving the lives of high-dose chemotherapy patients. Imagine what exercise can do for you, regardless if you are a chemo patient or not. When you contemplate exercise, don’t look at it as a way to get into shape, loose weight, or buff up. Look at it as a way to greatly improve your physical and psychological well being. It should be just as important as the air you breathe.
One controlled study was done with sixty-three patients who were scheduled to receive HIGH-DOSE chemotherapy. One week before starting chemotherapy, patients were evaluated with resting and stress electrocardiograms and echocardiograms. Furthermore, their psychologic status was evaluated with a special test. One patient was excluded from the study after discovering they had cardiac disease. The remaining patients were split into two groups: 29 patients in an exercise group and 33 patients in a non-exercise group.
The exercise group used a bed ergometer to “bike” in bed for 30 minutes a day with an intensity level high enough to achieve at least 50 percent of their cardiac reserve. The exercise group was able to train 82 percent of the time. Both groups were again tested after completion of chemotherapy.
At the beginning of the study, there were no differences in characteristics between the two groups. During and after chemotherapy, the exercise group showed significant improvement in obsessive-compulsive traits, anxiety, interpersonal sensitivity and phobic anxieties. They also showed a reduction in psychological stress compared with the non-exercise group. During HIGH-DOSE chemotherapy, patients in the exercise group did not have any change in fatigue level, while the non-exercise group showed a significant increase in fatigue. Read the previous sentence over and over again and try to appreciate the significance of it.
There is no drug, no food, and no other thing on this planet that would have that much positive impact on high-dose chemo patients than exercise. To me this is so profound that all cancer patients who don’t have some significant risk associated with exercise, such as cardiac disease, should be strongly encouraged to exercise. But much of the medical industry has not put this into practice. And there’s more profound news. In upcoming posts I will share with you studies that show exercise not only improves physical and psychological fitness during chemotherapy, it improves one’s chances of survival over cancer after chemotherapy.
I search the internet for proof on the benefits of exercise for caner patients. I’m very careful about which sources I use. The best source is actual scientific papers that have been published. I also have confidence in internet articles published by well know, reputable organizations, such as the American Cancer Society. Here is a link to the paper reporting on the study mentioned above. Hopefully this works.
http://www3.interscience.wiley.com/cgi-bin/fulltext/75503426/PDFSTART
So there you go – scientific proof that exercise does have a dramatic difference improving the lives of high-dose chemotherapy patients. Imagine what exercise can do for you, regardless if you are a chemo patient or not. When you contemplate exercise, don’t look at it as a way to get into shape, loose weight, or buff up. Look at it as a way to greatly improve your physical and psychological well being. It should be just as important as the air you breathe.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Rejuvenated; Thank You!
To the mother of two little kids that commented on my previous post, thank you so much for your kind words and sharing your story. It has rejuvenated my interest and drive to keep my blog going and to take it into a new direction. I’ve been mulling over some ideas for a long time and now its time to put them into action. I’ve been searching the internet and have found some amazing stories (blogs and websites) of other people who have and used running or some other exercise to overcome chemotherapy, cancer, or some other issue in their life. I have also found scientific proof, research studies, that show exercise does improve quality of life during chemotherapy and improves survival rates of cancer patients. So expect some changes to my blog soon.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Port is Out
My surgery went well this morning and my port is out. The surgery took a whole 9 minutes including prep time. It was interesting how it went. They brought me directly from the main lobby into the operating room. I took off my shirt, put on a hair net and got on the operating table with no special gown. They did cover me up in all kinds of blankets and had a special screen over my head so I couldn’t see what was happening. The doc came in, poked, cut and sewed, and I was done in a few minutes. I could feel a sharp pinch from the needle going into my skin when the doc was sewing me up. I told them that after I was done and they said I should have said something early and they would have numbed me up better. Man, sometimes trying to be a tough guy just doesn’t pay off. It feels great to touch my chest and not feel a hard foreign object poking out.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Back to Running
Just this last Monday I finally started running again. I’ve started out with short 3.2 mile runs each morning. The early mornings in Minnesota are now really cold and dark. Yesterday it was 25 degrees when I ran. I have good gear for running in weather like this, so I don’t cold. It’s just a psychological battle to get out of bed early in the morning when it’s cold and dark. That’s the hardest part. After a cup of stiff coffee and donning my running gear it’s easy to get out the door and run.
My running plans have changed. I won’t be running marathons for awhile. Chemotherapy and two marathons in one year were pretty hard on my body and it needs some time to rejuvenate. So I’m going to keep the distances and races no longer than a half marathon. I’ll probably run mostly 5Ks (3.1 miles) and 10Ks (6.2 miles) races. There are 5 and 10K organized races happening all the time and they usually involve some type of fund raising for charity. For training I’m going to focus on building up my speed rather than distance. I also plan to make my training more balanced by doing other exercises like weight lifting, biking and maybe swimming. I’m even toying with the idea of doing a triathlon. A neighbor lady who was an avid runner got into triathlons and she said the more balanced training actually improved her running. Another reason for more balanced conditioning is it better prepares me for other activities I like to do, like snowboarding, backpacking, kayaking and canoeing. So that’s my plans, now it time to execute. Like getting up out of bed on a cold dark morning, the hardest part will be to get started.
My running plans have changed. I won’t be running marathons for awhile. Chemotherapy and two marathons in one year were pretty hard on my body and it needs some time to rejuvenate. So I’m going to keep the distances and races no longer than a half marathon. I’ll probably run mostly 5Ks (3.1 miles) and 10Ks (6.2 miles) races. There are 5 and 10K organized races happening all the time and they usually involve some type of fund raising for charity. For training I’m going to focus on building up my speed rather than distance. I also plan to make my training more balanced by doing other exercises like weight lifting, biking and maybe swimming. I’m even toying with the idea of doing a triathlon. A neighbor lady who was an avid runner got into triathlons and she said the more balanced training actually improved her running. Another reason for more balanced conditioning is it better prepares me for other activities I like to do, like snowboarding, backpacking, kayaking and canoeing. So that’s my plans, now it time to execute. Like getting up out of bed on a cold dark morning, the hardest part will be to get started.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Squeaky Clean PET Scan
Today my oncologist went over the results of my PET scan that was done Wednesday. It showed absolutely nothing, it was squeaky clean. My oncologist was so impressed with my progress I get to have my port-a-cath removed next week. The port-a-cath is a catheter that has been surgically implanted in my chest to allow chemo drugs to have direct access to my heart. Every month I have to go to the cancer center to have the port flushed out. Having it removed means less trips to the cancer center. As much as I love the people there, I prefer to be somewhere else. My PET scans and oncologist visits are now going to be 3 months apart rather than 2. About a week before each scan I get a little anxiety. Having that less often will also be nice.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Scanxiety Time
It took about 5 days after the marathon before I could walk normal. Normally I would start running again, but I have a PET scan next week and I don’t want a repeat of what happen in July when my PET scan showed a flare up, which was later determine to be most likely inflammation of scar tissue due to running Grandma’s marathon. I don’t want to go through scanxiety again (neither does my wife) so this time I’m not running at all until after my PET scan.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Success is never wondering, “What if?”
Sunday morning was cool and dark at 7AM when about 17,000 runners gathered around the HHH Metrodome in downtown Minneapolis. About 6,000 runners were about to start the TC 10 mile run, while the other 11,000 tried to stay warm in the cold wind. Runners were wearing all sorts of things, trash bags as ponchos and old worn out sock as gloves, all which would be discarded along the race course after burning a few hundred calories. Then there was the forecast – rain, very possibly heavy rain, maybe even a thunderstorm. It may sound like the worst conditions for a marathon, but for me it was near perfect, much better than high temperatures and humidity. If you grow up, live, and run in Minnesota, you become accustom to the cold. This was a Minnesotan’s day to run a marathon; the only possible improvement would be a few snow flakes.
All my three previous marathons have been in the heat, so this was new to me. I have done a 23 mile practice run in the coolness and know that my long distance performance greatly improves when the mercury dips into the 50s or lower. Waiting at the starting line with my wife just on the other side of the corral fence I made my decision, “I’m going for it” I told her, “I’m going for under 4 hours”. I knew my performance would be much better than my summer long runs because of the coolness, I just didn’t know if my legs would hold up since my summer training was a bit sporadic. The one thing I didn’t want to happen is play it safe and then for the rest of my life wonder if I could have done it. I had to try.
The 8AM start of the marathon was fairly dry, but that didn’t last very long. For about the first 15 miles or so it rained, sometimes very hard. At times gusting wind would blow rain and leaves into my face. Some of the streets became flooded and at some parts of the course policemen were diverting runners to the high side of the road. I loved it and so did other runners around me. Unlike heat which drains your energy, the rain and wind seem to elevate our spirits. Spectators were cheering on the runners, some runners were cheering on the spectators while some were cheering on the rain.
During the first half of the race the numbers of spectators were thinner than past years, but I was surprised on how many did show considering how hard the rain was pouring. There were large groups at key locations, probably where parking can be found. I think the weather weeded out the causal spectator, because the ones that did show up were there to cheer on the runners with exuberance. Even though I decided to try for a finish under 4 hours, I did remain true to my main objective - to engage the crowd.
At last year’s TC marathon I also learned that sometimes it takes a runner to get the crowd going, which in turn gets the runners going. It’s a symbiotic relationship - runners inspire spectators and spectators motivate runners. Runners also inspire and motivate other runners. It’s so unlike other sports where there is an opponent that needs to be crushed. That’s what I love about marathons. There is so much positive energy flowing all directions and negativity is no where to be found. For this race time I wanted to put everything into Chemo-Man.
After the first couple of miles of being reserved and quiet, I came up to a large group at an intersection and I finally let it all hang out at the top of my voice yelling, “It feels great to be alive and running!” That generated a big response of applause and yells like, “way to go Chemo-Man”. This would happen again and again for the next 20 miles. It wasn’t just the spectators getting into Chemo-Man; I received countless sincere nods, pats on the back, and clenching fist taps from fellow runners too.
A runner understands another runner. They know what it means to be able to run, and what it would be like to loose it. So when a runner sees another runner overcoming great adversity to stay in the race, they are inspired. That’s another wonderful thing about marathons, there inspiration everywhere. Many runners at Sunday’s race had to overcome some type of hardship or misfortune. You see it written on their shirts. They are running in honor someone they lost, or close friend that is struggling with a crippling disease. Then there is the old farts – runners in the 70 to 74 age bracket, or the over 74 bracket. Near the end of the race I saw one 70-74 pass me up, probably on his way to break 4 hours. Did that bother me? No, it was pure inspiration.
My pace for the first 20 miles was much faster than what I trained for this summer. Last year for the TC marathon I was in my best shape and trained at a speed to finish under 4 hours. However last year I started to succumb to the heat around mile 17 and didn’t reach mile 20 at a good enough time to complete the last 6.2 miles with a reasonable pace. This year I hit mile 20 in full stride and with a time of 2:57. To finish under 4 hours chip time all I would have to do is complete the last 6.2 miles with an easy pace just over 10 minutes per mile. But then my legs and right foot said, “NO MORE” and I started to feel a bit dizzy. For much of the remaining 6 miles I had to alternate between walking and running to stave off the feeling of dizziness and pain in my legs and foot. I did save enough energy to complete the last half mile at a good running pace. I didn’t finish under 4 hours, my chip time was 4:18, about one minute faster than my time at Grandma’s marathon, but I was still very happy with my performance. The important thing is I tried and I will not be haunted by the question, “what if?”
All my three previous marathons have been in the heat, so this was new to me. I have done a 23 mile practice run in the coolness and know that my long distance performance greatly improves when the mercury dips into the 50s or lower. Waiting at the starting line with my wife just on the other side of the corral fence I made my decision, “I’m going for it” I told her, “I’m going for under 4 hours”. I knew my performance would be much better than my summer long runs because of the coolness, I just didn’t know if my legs would hold up since my summer training was a bit sporadic. The one thing I didn’t want to happen is play it safe and then for the rest of my life wonder if I could have done it. I had to try.
The 8AM start of the marathon was fairly dry, but that didn’t last very long. For about the first 15 miles or so it rained, sometimes very hard. At times gusting wind would blow rain and leaves into my face. Some of the streets became flooded and at some parts of the course policemen were diverting runners to the high side of the road. I loved it and so did other runners around me. Unlike heat which drains your energy, the rain and wind seem to elevate our spirits. Spectators were cheering on the runners, some runners were cheering on the spectators while some were cheering on the rain.
During the first half of the race the numbers of spectators were thinner than past years, but I was surprised on how many did show considering how hard the rain was pouring. There were large groups at key locations, probably where parking can be found. I think the weather weeded out the causal spectator, because the ones that did show up were there to cheer on the runners with exuberance. Even though I decided to try for a finish under 4 hours, I did remain true to my main objective - to engage the crowd.
At last year’s TC marathon I also learned that sometimes it takes a runner to get the crowd going, which in turn gets the runners going. It’s a symbiotic relationship - runners inspire spectators and spectators motivate runners. Runners also inspire and motivate other runners. It’s so unlike other sports where there is an opponent that needs to be crushed. That’s what I love about marathons. There is so much positive energy flowing all directions and negativity is no where to be found. For this race time I wanted to put everything into Chemo-Man.
After the first couple of miles of being reserved and quiet, I came up to a large group at an intersection and I finally let it all hang out at the top of my voice yelling, “It feels great to be alive and running!” That generated a big response of applause and yells like, “way to go Chemo-Man”. This would happen again and again for the next 20 miles. It wasn’t just the spectators getting into Chemo-Man; I received countless sincere nods, pats on the back, and clenching fist taps from fellow runners too.
A runner understands another runner. They know what it means to be able to run, and what it would be like to loose it. So when a runner sees another runner overcoming great adversity to stay in the race, they are inspired. That’s another wonderful thing about marathons, there inspiration everywhere. Many runners at Sunday’s race had to overcome some type of hardship or misfortune. You see it written on their shirts. They are running in honor someone they lost, or close friend that is struggling with a crippling disease. Then there is the old farts – runners in the 70 to 74 age bracket, or the over 74 bracket. Near the end of the race I saw one 70-74 pass me up, probably on his way to break 4 hours. Did that bother me? No, it was pure inspiration.
My pace for the first 20 miles was much faster than what I trained for this summer. Last year for the TC marathon I was in my best shape and trained at a speed to finish under 4 hours. However last year I started to succumb to the heat around mile 17 and didn’t reach mile 20 at a good enough time to complete the last 6.2 miles with a reasonable pace. This year I hit mile 20 in full stride and with a time of 2:57. To finish under 4 hours chip time all I would have to do is complete the last 6.2 miles with an easy pace just over 10 minutes per mile. But then my legs and right foot said, “NO MORE” and I started to feel a bit dizzy. For much of the remaining 6 miles I had to alternate between walking and running to stave off the feeling of dizziness and pain in my legs and foot. I did save enough energy to complete the last half mile at a good running pace. I didn’t finish under 4 hours, my chip time was 4:18, about one minute faster than my time at Grandma’s marathon, but I was still very happy with my performance. The important thing is I tried and I will not be haunted by the question, “what if?”
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Way Cool Online Runner Tracker
Click on the above title of this post to go to a way cool online tracker for TC marathon runners. You will get an interactive map (looks like Google maps) that allows you to grab the map to move it and zoom in and out. It shows runner’s progress and estimated position. The link already has my bib number included. Just in case that doesn’t work, go to http://www.mtcmarathon.org/ click on the Mtrack link in the middle of the page. My bib number is 6103. Besides the start and finish, there will be timing mats that register my chip at the 3.1, 6.2, 13.1, 18.6 mile and an additional spot. I don’t why they don't pick the additional spot right away. Maybe someone like my wife is in charge; put it there, no move it over there, no, I think it would be better over here.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Good to Go
It’s the day before the Twin City Marathon and I’m good to go. My taper down period the last two weeks have gone well, with no hint of an injury. I don’t have any specific plans for the race on Sunday. Due to tendonitis at the worst possible time, my training this time lacked continuity so I don’t know how I’ll perform tomorrow. Another variable that has added some unpredictability is the weather. The temperatures will be in the low 50’s during the race, which is perfect for running. Temperature can have a huge impact on performance and all my marathons so far have been on the warm side to killer heat. Most of my training this summer has also been in the heat. Do I set a pace to break 4 hours, or do I play it conservative so that I don’t risk a poor and painful finish?
Two Sunday’s ago was probably my most physically challenging day ever. I ran 20 miles in the morning, and then spent 5 hours cloths shopping with my wife at the Mall of America. Can you imagine what it is like standing on your feet for 5 hours straight while trying to help a woman decide on what shoes to buy, after running 20 miles! I am now definitely ready for any abuse that the TC marathon can throw at me.
My performance on last Sunday’s 20 mile run was pretty ugly. After about 15 miles there was three different times that I pulled out my cell phone and was about to call my wife to pick me up. My legs and hips started to hurt more than usual and the run became just pure drudgery. I didn’t prepare very well, I started late and it got warmer than usual, and I started focusing on the finish. I think I’ve push my body to its limit this year by training for two marathons. Oh yeah, there’s also that chemotherapy thing earlier this year. To complete the 20 miles required a change in head strategy. I shifted my focus away from the finish to some landmark along the trail that was close enough in distance that seemed both physically and mentally doable, then made a deal with myself that when I arrived at the landmark if I absolutely couldn’t go on I would end the run. The cell phone never came out again and I finished. I’m glad I pushed myself to complete the entire 20 miles. It was a bit of a gamble with possible injury, but as a result I am better prepared for the TC marathon.
For Grandma’s marathon I monitored my heart rate and adjusted my speed to keep my heart rate at an optimum. I’ll probably do the same this time, but not as closely. I plan to be much more involved with the crowd this time. Both Grandma’s and the TC marathons have wonderful spectators that cheer runners on, but the TC marathon has more of them and some of them get really crazy with costumes and music and dancing and giving runners high fives with gorilla hands or monster hands or spraying runners with water. There are rock ‘n’ roll bands, um-pa-pa bands, choirs and soloists playing all types of instruments and music. It’s like running through a big party that is 26 miles long. My plan – enjoy the party.
Two Sunday’s ago was probably my most physically challenging day ever. I ran 20 miles in the morning, and then spent 5 hours cloths shopping with my wife at the Mall of America. Can you imagine what it is like standing on your feet for 5 hours straight while trying to help a woman decide on what shoes to buy, after running 20 miles! I am now definitely ready for any abuse that the TC marathon can throw at me.
My performance on last Sunday’s 20 mile run was pretty ugly. After about 15 miles there was three different times that I pulled out my cell phone and was about to call my wife to pick me up. My legs and hips started to hurt more than usual and the run became just pure drudgery. I didn’t prepare very well, I started late and it got warmer than usual, and I started focusing on the finish. I think I’ve push my body to its limit this year by training for two marathons. Oh yeah, there’s also that chemotherapy thing earlier this year. To complete the 20 miles required a change in head strategy. I shifted my focus away from the finish to some landmark along the trail that was close enough in distance that seemed both physically and mentally doable, then made a deal with myself that when I arrived at the landmark if I absolutely couldn’t go on I would end the run. The cell phone never came out again and I finished. I’m glad I pushed myself to complete the entire 20 miles. It was a bit of a gamble with possible injury, but as a result I am better prepared for the TC marathon.
For Grandma’s marathon I monitored my heart rate and adjusted my speed to keep my heart rate at an optimum. I’ll probably do the same this time, but not as closely. I plan to be much more involved with the crowd this time. Both Grandma’s and the TC marathons have wonderful spectators that cheer runners on, but the TC marathon has more of them and some of them get really crazy with costumes and music and dancing and giving runners high fives with gorilla hands or monster hands or spraying runners with water. There are rock ‘n’ roll bands, um-pa-pa bands, choirs and soloists playing all types of instruments and music. It’s like running through a big party that is 26 miles long. My plan – enjoy the party.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Fighting Blood Cancer
Please help me and Keri Bunkers fight Leukemia and Lymphoma. Keri is a friend of my daughter and is participating in "Team In Training". Team in Training helps marathon runners raise funds to cure blood cancer. They have already raised $850 million for blood cancer research, while helping their participants change their lives through running. Keri will be running in the TC marathon this October. Here is a link to her website. You can donate online and the funds go directly to the organization.
http://pages.teamintraining.org/mn/twin08/kbunkers
Here is the link to Team In Training
http://www.teamintraining.org/tnt2008/1/
http://pages.teamintraining.org/mn/twin08/kbunkers
Here is the link to Team In Training
http://www.teamintraining.org/tnt2008/1/
Friday, September 19, 2008
Legs are back
I took two days off from running after my 20 mile run on Sunday. My legs recovered quickly and now I have been running 8 miles each morning without any trouble. This coming Sunday I’ll do my last 20 mile run and then it’s taper down time to let the legs completely heal before the TC marathon.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Twenty Miles - Ouch!
My long run of 20 miles went well on Sunday, but for about 30 min after the run I had extreme pain in my legs. I’m not yet ready to go the entire 26.2 miles for a marathon. One more 20 mile run this coming weekend should help. Why, why do I do this?
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
1000 Miles; 312 Cheeseburgers
Today I ran my 1000th mile for the year. That’s about 112,316 calories burned from running. That amount of calories is equivalent to about 32 pounds of fat, or roughly 312 cheeseburgers. Now I can tell you I didn’t eat 312 cheeseburgers this year, but I also didn’t loose any weight. It must have been those chocolate milkshakes that went with the cheeseburgers.
Early in my adult life I had a hard time going forward. Jumping from job to job or some crazy money making idea I kept trying to take shortcuts to success. When I was at my bottom, my dad gave me some advice that I carry forward today. I don’t remember his exact words, which were beautifully put and I cannot do it justice, but here is kind of what he said. If you really want to get somewhere in life, you need to stick with one plan, put your nose to the grindstone and keep it there. At first it may seem like you are going nowhere, but after some time you’ll look back and see you have come a long way.
Today I looked back to the beginning of this year, when I was just starting chemotherapy and wow, I have come a long ways.
Early in my adult life I had a hard time going forward. Jumping from job to job or some crazy money making idea I kept trying to take shortcuts to success. When I was at my bottom, my dad gave me some advice that I carry forward today. I don’t remember his exact words, which were beautifully put and I cannot do it justice, but here is kind of what he said. If you really want to get somewhere in life, you need to stick with one plan, put your nose to the grindstone and keep it there. At first it may seem like you are going nowhere, but after some time you’ll look back and see you have come a long way.
Today I looked back to the beginning of this year, when I was just starting chemotherapy and wow, I have come a long ways.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Physical Therapy
I saw a physical therapist yesterday about my problems with tendonitis or shin splints. She gave me some stretching and strengthening exercises. I know I should be doing these things, but I have neglected them since they do take extra time. If I want to stay serious with this running business, I better find the time to do it right. I guess I’ll have to set the alarm clock another 15 min earlier.
Monday, September 8, 2008
A Tough 13 Miles
The good news is that I’m back running and my tendonitis seems to be gone. However, after two and half weeks of virtually no running, my legs are no longer in top condition. My 13 mile run yesterday did go fairly well with a good time at 2 hours and 1 minute, which puts me on close pace to a 4 hour marathon. But my legs got pretty sore and stiff afterwards, much more than I expected. There’s no way I could run much farther at that speed without some serious pain or injury. Alright, I admit it, I have been secretly holding on to the goal of finishing under 4 hours at the TC marathon. That’s why I pushed yesterday’s run so hard. But now I fully realize this year is just not going to be that year. It’s not that I’m quitting. It’s going to be challenging enough just to make it to the TC marathon injury free and in good enough shape to complete it without lots of pain. I’ll be very happy with that.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Just what the doctor ordered – work!
I finally discovered the best thing for healing tendonitis – go to work. I’ve been on vacation the last two weeks and until Tuesday I’ve been working on house projects which involve being on my feet all day and standing on step ladders. That was too much activity for my tendonitis; what I needed was some serious rest. Going to work was just the ticket. At my job I sit on my butt all day, either talking on the phone or working on my laptop. Just three days of that was enough to completely heal my tendonitis. Yesterday after work I went for a 6 mile run and felt no pain. This weekend I’ll go for a 12 mile run, then next weekend for a 20 mile run. After that I should start my taper down, but I’m considering squeezing in one more 20 mile run with an abbreviated taper down. All the running websites I’ve been to recommend that you always do a full 3 week taper down, but the way I see it is that I’ll have a 4 week taper down split into two parts with a taper up in the middle. We’ll see how it works. Sometimes you have to challenge authority; that’s how new things are discovered.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Another Tendonitis/Cheeseburger Challenge
Tendonitis of a tendon running from my shinbone to my foot has grounded my running for the last two weeks. Learning from past lessons I am getting professional help on this. I still may be able to run the TC marathon, but it’ll take some careful strategy. I was getting real concerned last week because there appeared to be no progress with healing even though I was being very careful about not overstressing the tendon. Just a normal day of short walks lead to a very sore leg by the end of the day. However yesterday was a breakthrough day; I noticed some dramatic improvement. Now comes the tricky part – when do I start running again? I have almost 5 weeks before marathon time. I’ll plan out a training program with a drop dead date for starting to give my tendon as much time as possible to heal. If it isn’t ready by then, I’ll probably have drop out of the race. Meanwhile, since I’m not running, I’m not burning tons of calories I normally do. But my insatiable appetite hasn’t changed, so the excess calories are turning into excess waistline. I just can’t give up those cheeseburgers.
On a different note, you can see my BWCA photos in a much larger size by going to http://picasaweb.google.com/LKStrandjord/BWCA2008 , which is my Picasa website.
On a different note, you can see my BWCA photos in a much larger size by going to http://picasaweb.google.com/LKStrandjord/BWCA2008 , which is my Picasa website.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
BWCA Photos
I went a bit crazy with posting 42 BWCA photos, but I had over 400 to choose from. Before going on I need to put this BWCA thing into context. Besides Grandma’s marathon, looking forward to a family adventure in the BWCA was instrumental in fighting off depression and despair during the time I didn’t know if I would be physically capable of such a thing, or worse yet, alive. It would have been easy to temporarily give up future dreams and concentrate on the task of fighting cancer and preparing my family for the worse. However I found that the best thing for me and my family was not to push future plans aside, but rather embrace them. My brother Cary stepped in by proposing a BWCA adventure.
Cary and I have done many adventures together, sometimes with our brother Mark and sometimes with other family members. In the last few years our adventuring has gone mostly to the wayside; life was way too busy. Then aggressive cancer threatened to swiftly take my life. That was a wakeup call to refocus on the truly important things. I wasn’t the only one to get this wakeup call, others close to me also benefited from my cancer. Yes, you heard it right - benefited. As horrible and ugly cancer is, there are also a lot of positive things that can be harvested from it. Cary and I are now planning other adventures, such as a backpacking trip into the Crazy Mountains and a sea kayaking trip from the Minnesota north shore of Lake Superior out to Isle Royal, an island in Lake Superior that is a national park and a primitive wilderness area.
On our BWCA adventure we canoed over 24 miles of water and portaged more than 4.5 miles in six days and five nights. My brother Cary and his wife Pat, being pros at this thing, could have covered at least twice that distance in the same time, but my wife Renee, my sons Chris and Daniel, and I are rookies and thus set the pace. Trying to cover as much distance as possible wasn’t on our docket anyways. Thanks to Cary and Pat we learned how to do things efficiently and comfortably. We saw other groups that were obviously rookies with no clue. The right methods can make the difference between flirting with disaster, misery and pain and having a fulfilling and enjoyable time. Besides, it just feels good to do things the right way. As you can see from the following photos, we had a wonderful time.
Preparing dinner at the Sawbill campground the night before our adventure.
Day 1: Cary and Pat find a quiet nook out of the wind while waiting for the rest of us to catch up on Sawbill Lake.
Renee and Chris unloading at our first portage at the northern end of Sawbill lake.
Daniel digs in with a paddle on Ada Creek. During this stretch we had to drag the canoes over a beaver dam.
Renee and Chris bring up the rear on Ada Creek. If you try to step out on the grass you'll find yourself sinking into waist high muck.
For the first day Cary and Pat take the lead, but after us rookies learned a few things, they let us lead the way for most of the trip. I think this is Ada Lake.
Daniel and I unloading the canoe to prepare for a 180 rod portage. This was an easy landing. For some landings I would have been over my head in water if on the outer side of the canoe.
I think this is Cherokee Creek. I need to find a way to take notes along with pictures. I could record some voice memos on my camera if it wasn't inside an underwater housing. Since canoes are very prone to flipping, you don't want to take out an expensive camera while on the water. To safely get pictures on the water I put my camera in an underwater housing that is normally used for scuba diving.
Still on Cherokee Creek. Much of our water travel was not on big lakes but rather streams, small and narrow lakes. The forest here is very dense with brush and small pine trees. The only way to travel any significant distance in this land is by canoe.
Campfire at our first campsite on Cherokee Lake.
My youngest son Daniel (13) slept by himself in a hammock tent. Canoes are stored well within the confines of trees. My brother Cary learned not to store canoes on the lake shore where winds from storms can carry them away.
Day 2: Having breakfast in camp was also an important social time.
Pat grew up exploring the BWCA. Her family started as rookies but honed their skills over decades of practice. They made their own equipment and even their own canoes. Pat's family introduce the BWCA to Cary, who then added his own touch to methods and style. Cary has even done some solo trips into the BWCA.
Making Jiffy Pop popcorn at our second campsite on Cherokee lake. We decided to make day two a short travel day to spend more time playing in camp. This camp we found was a beaut, a rare find in the BWCA. This campsite was the only one on a big island at the northern end of Cherokee Lake.
Day 3: Sunrise on Cherokee lake. I tried to get up early enough each morning to catch the sunrise. This morning the sunrise was glorious. This day we planned to hang around camp or do a day trip and return.
Making bacon for breakfast.
Daniel and I found a nice rock to jump from into the lake. Here we are swimming back from the rock to our campsite.
Cary and Pat did a day trip to Frost Lake and my family stayed more local. After swimming, fishing and catching leaches on our island, the four of us jumped into a canoe and crossed the bay to a beach. Here Chris is doing his favorite thing - fishing.
Daniel and I like to make sandcastles.
Yours truly relaxing in nature's recliner.
Chris watches the sunset at a vista on top of a huge, granite outcropping near our campsite.
Day 4: Renee and I enjoy the sunrise with tea and coffee. Today will be a big day because we'll start on a loop to return to the Sawbill entry point. Our goal is to make it all the way to Brule Lake. At some point we'll be committed to finish the loop. Little did we know that some very difficult portages were ahead.
It's not the rocks you see that are the problem, it's the submerged ones you don't see that can ruin your day. Kevlar canoes are great because they are lightweight, making portages bearable and moving quickly on water. But they don't like contact with rocks. A punctured canoe can result in a really bad day, especially when you are two days away from any help.
Chris and Renee clear the rocks just fine. Chris steered from the stern for the entire trip.
Pat takes a break. Cary and Pat have Duluth packs, which are specifically designed for traveling by canoe and portaging. Duluth packs are shorter and wider than backpacks. Duluth packs and portage packs are optimized for canoes by keeping the weight low to maximize stability. Something you appreciate when the wind is strong and the waves are high.
Daniel took this picture of me carrying a canoe on a rocky portage. This is actually an easy one. During this day we picked our way through a couple of portages with relentless difficult terrain of steep climbs, slippery moss covered rocks, boulders, tree roots and knee deep muck. Care and absolute focus had to be put into every single step. A wrong step could lead to a serious injury.
Renee prepares for another rocky portage.
Cary and I prepare dinner at our campsite on Brule Lake. It felt good to find a vacant campsite after a long hard day of portaging. Cary and I each had a backpacking style camp stove. A canoe is turned upside down to serve as a table for preparing food and washing dishes.
Day 5: Cary and Pat are making pancakes for breakfast and I'm baking a strawberry muffin mix in a backpacking oven.
Checkout the strawberry muffins. Mmmm good. Some of the food wasn't that tasty, but when your hungry enough you'll eat anything. Everything from the backpacking oven was great, that is once I learned how to bake without burning the food to a crisp.
Renee and I washing dishes.
Chris packing his cloths into a waterproof compression bag. By pulling on straps attached to the compression bag, cloths and sleeping bags are squeezed into a much smaller size, resulting in fewer portage packs.
Renee checks our next move on the map.
Lilly pads that covered many of the small lakes were in bloom.
Day 6: Yesterday was a long and hard day with two monster portages, long stretches of water, at late camp setup, and dinner in the dark after waiting out a storm. We were very lucky to find this vacant campsite on Burnt Lake. Here Renee and I are planning out our last day to the Sawbill entry point. The winds are strong and the waves are challenging so careful planning is prudent.
Every campsite in the BWCA has a throne which is placed a little hike away from the campsite.
Cary and Daniel discuss things at breakfast. A lot of bonding happens over the course of a few days with no TVs, cell phones and video games.
Chris on our final portage to Sawbill Lake.
Renee still has a smile after six days of adventure. That's my girl.
Cary carries a 40lb canoe and a 50lb portage pack at the same time. This method eliminates double portaging which can take a lot more time and limits how deep one can travel into the BWCA.
A rest stop at the end of our last portage on Sawbill Lake. The winds are very strong here and some of us are a bit nervous about canoeing on the lake.
We make it back to Sawbill Outfitters with no mishaps. Our adventure is over, but the experience will continue to influence us for a lifetime.
Cary and I have done many adventures together, sometimes with our brother Mark and sometimes with other family members. In the last few years our adventuring has gone mostly to the wayside; life was way too busy. Then aggressive cancer threatened to swiftly take my life. That was a wakeup call to refocus on the truly important things. I wasn’t the only one to get this wakeup call, others close to me also benefited from my cancer. Yes, you heard it right - benefited. As horrible and ugly cancer is, there are also a lot of positive things that can be harvested from it. Cary and I are now planning other adventures, such as a backpacking trip into the Crazy Mountains and a sea kayaking trip from the Minnesota north shore of Lake Superior out to Isle Royal, an island in Lake Superior that is a national park and a primitive wilderness area.
On our BWCA adventure we canoed over 24 miles of water and portaged more than 4.5 miles in six days and five nights. My brother Cary and his wife Pat, being pros at this thing, could have covered at least twice that distance in the same time, but my wife Renee, my sons Chris and Daniel, and I are rookies and thus set the pace. Trying to cover as much distance as possible wasn’t on our docket anyways. Thanks to Cary and Pat we learned how to do things efficiently and comfortably. We saw other groups that were obviously rookies with no clue. The right methods can make the difference between flirting with disaster, misery and pain and having a fulfilling and enjoyable time. Besides, it just feels good to do things the right way. As you can see from the following photos, we had a wonderful time.
Preparing dinner at the Sawbill campground the night before our adventure.
Day 1: Cary and Pat find a quiet nook out of the wind while waiting for the rest of us to catch up on Sawbill Lake.
Renee and Chris unloading at our first portage at the northern end of Sawbill lake.
Daniel digs in with a paddle on Ada Creek. During this stretch we had to drag the canoes over a beaver dam.
Renee and Chris bring up the rear on Ada Creek. If you try to step out on the grass you'll find yourself sinking into waist high muck.
For the first day Cary and Pat take the lead, but after us rookies learned a few things, they let us lead the way for most of the trip. I think this is Ada Lake.
Daniel and I unloading the canoe to prepare for a 180 rod portage. This was an easy landing. For some landings I would have been over my head in water if on the outer side of the canoe.
I think this is Cherokee Creek. I need to find a way to take notes along with pictures. I could record some voice memos on my camera if it wasn't inside an underwater housing. Since canoes are very prone to flipping, you don't want to take out an expensive camera while on the water. To safely get pictures on the water I put my camera in an underwater housing that is normally used for scuba diving.
Still on Cherokee Creek. Much of our water travel was not on big lakes but rather streams, small and narrow lakes. The forest here is very dense with brush and small pine trees. The only way to travel any significant distance in this land is by canoe.
Campfire at our first campsite on Cherokee Lake.
My youngest son Daniel (13) slept by himself in a hammock tent. Canoes are stored well within the confines of trees. My brother Cary learned not to store canoes on the lake shore where winds from storms can carry them away.
Day 2: Having breakfast in camp was also an important social time.
Pat grew up exploring the BWCA. Her family started as rookies but honed their skills over decades of practice. They made their own equipment and even their own canoes. Pat's family introduce the BWCA to Cary, who then added his own touch to methods and style. Cary has even done some solo trips into the BWCA.
Making Jiffy Pop popcorn at our second campsite on Cherokee lake. We decided to make day two a short travel day to spend more time playing in camp. This camp we found was a beaut, a rare find in the BWCA. This campsite was the only one on a big island at the northern end of Cherokee Lake.
Day 3: Sunrise on Cherokee lake. I tried to get up early enough each morning to catch the sunrise. This morning the sunrise was glorious. This day we planned to hang around camp or do a day trip and return.
Making bacon for breakfast.
Daniel and I found a nice rock to jump from into the lake. Here we are swimming back from the rock to our campsite.
Cary and Pat did a day trip to Frost Lake and my family stayed more local. After swimming, fishing and catching leaches on our island, the four of us jumped into a canoe and crossed the bay to a beach. Here Chris is doing his favorite thing - fishing.
Daniel and I like to make sandcastles. 
Yours truly relaxing in nature's recliner.
Chris watches the sunset at a vista on top of a huge, granite outcropping near our campsite.
Day 4: Renee and I enjoy the sunrise with tea and coffee. Today will be a big day because we'll start on a loop to return to the Sawbill entry point. Our goal is to make it all the way to Brule Lake. At some point we'll be committed to finish the loop. Little did we know that some very difficult portages were ahead.
It's not the rocks you see that are the problem, it's the submerged ones you don't see that can ruin your day. Kevlar canoes are great because they are lightweight, making portages bearable and moving quickly on water. But they don't like contact with rocks. A punctured canoe can result in a really bad day, especially when you are two days away from any help.
Chris and Renee clear the rocks just fine. Chris steered from the stern for the entire trip.
Pat takes a break. Cary and Pat have Duluth packs, which are specifically designed for traveling by canoe and portaging. Duluth packs are shorter and wider than backpacks. Duluth packs and portage packs are optimized for canoes by keeping the weight low to maximize stability. Something you appreciate when the wind is strong and the waves are high.
Daniel took this picture of me carrying a canoe on a rocky portage. This is actually an easy one. During this day we picked our way through a couple of portages with relentless difficult terrain of steep climbs, slippery moss covered rocks, boulders, tree roots and knee deep muck. Care and absolute focus had to be put into every single step. A wrong step could lead to a serious injury.
Renee prepares for another rocky portage.
Cary and I prepare dinner at our campsite on Brule Lake. It felt good to find a vacant campsite after a long hard day of portaging. Cary and I each had a backpacking style camp stove. A canoe is turned upside down to serve as a table for preparing food and washing dishes.
Day 5: Cary and Pat are making pancakes for breakfast and I'm baking a strawberry muffin mix in a backpacking oven.
Checkout the strawberry muffins. Mmmm good. Some of the food wasn't that tasty, but when your hungry enough you'll eat anything. Everything from the backpacking oven was great, that is once I learned how to bake without burning the food to a crisp.
Renee and I washing dishes.
Chris packing his cloths into a waterproof compression bag. By pulling on straps attached to the compression bag, cloths and sleeping bags are squeezed into a much smaller size, resulting in fewer portage packs.
Renee checks our next move on the map.
Lilly pads that covered many of the small lakes were in bloom.
Day 6: Yesterday was a long and hard day with two monster portages, long stretches of water, at late camp setup, and dinner in the dark after waiting out a storm. We were very lucky to find this vacant campsite on Burnt Lake. Here Renee and I are planning out our last day to the Sawbill entry point. The winds are strong and the waves are challenging so careful planning is prudent.
Every campsite in the BWCA has a throne which is placed a little hike away from the campsite.
Cary and Daniel discuss things at breakfast. A lot of bonding happens over the course of a few days with no TVs, cell phones and video games.
Chris on our final portage to Sawbill Lake.
Renee still has a smile after six days of adventure. That's my girl.
Cary carries a 40lb canoe and a 50lb portage pack at the same time. This method eliminates double portaging which can take a lot more time and limits how deep one can travel into the BWCA. 
A rest stop at the end of our last portage on Sawbill Lake. The winds are very strong here and some of us are a bit nervous about canoeing on the lake.
We make it back to Sawbill Outfitters with no mishaps. Our adventure is over, but the experience will continue to influence us for a lifetime. Sunday, August 24, 2008
Chemo-Man Survives the BWCA
My family and I are back from the Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness and I’m happy to report we all survived. However, I did injure my leg and probably won’t be running for at least a couple of days. While swimming in Cherokee Lake I smashed my shin on a rock. That may have started the injury. Then later a strong pain started to develop and strengthen during portages, where I carried both a canoe and portage pack over some very rough terrain. I think the injury is a muscle or tendon in the shin area. I’ll try icing it and babying it for a couple of days. Hopefully it will heal fast so I can get back on my training schedule.
My family and I had the most wonderful time in the BWCA. I wouldn’t describe it as a vacation, but rather an adventure. It’s very hard work and there are elements of danger. It requires careful decision making and problem solving to stay out of trouble. The portages through the dense forest are not marked, thus finding them requires some detective work. Then you have to figure out the safest way to approach the portage, make your landing, get out of the canoe and unload. You don’t want to ram a Kevlar canoe into the shore; otherwise a sharp rock could puncture it. So landings involve getting as close as possible then stepping out into the lake. But watch out! You could sink into bottomless muck, or slip on a slanted rock, off a ledge and into an Abyss. Some portage landings have deep drop offs with only a narrow slanted, slippery slimly green shelf to step on.
On the second to the last day we did a monster 240 rod portage among other portages. Then latter in the day we couldn’t find an open campsite on our destination lake. (You can only camp at designated campsites in the BWCA). So we had to soldier on to the next lake which required trudging through another 230 rod portage. If we didn’t find a campsite on the next lake, then we would have to continue on another portage and another lake to keep looking. The problem was we getting close to the Sawbill entry point, which means easy access to the neighboring campsites and thus high chances of no vacancies. We were running out of daylight and energy. We finally found an open campsite and it was perfect. We quickly setup camp because there were sounds of thunder and it was getting dark. We started making dinner in the dark, but a storm hit with rain and heavy winds (no lighting) so we threw everything under a canoe and took refuge under some pine trees. We were so lucky we were at a camp on not on a lake when the storm hit. On the last day we encountered very strong winds that made it challenging to cross the lake without being flipped over. Everybody managed to stay dry.
We had three canoes, one for my brother and his wife, one for my oldest son (16) and my wife, and one for my youngest son (13) and me. I let my boys and wife do much of the navigation and decision making. Actually, they just did it because they knew that dad is not always right. Everyone carried heavy packs and did their part. An adventure like this is really a growth experience in many ways. I could see confidence build in my boys as they tackled challenges. The experience also brings us much closer together and will last a life time.
Expect some pictures in a few days.
My family and I had the most wonderful time in the BWCA. I wouldn’t describe it as a vacation, but rather an adventure. It’s very hard work and there are elements of danger. It requires careful decision making and problem solving to stay out of trouble. The portages through the dense forest are not marked, thus finding them requires some detective work. Then you have to figure out the safest way to approach the portage, make your landing, get out of the canoe and unload. You don’t want to ram a Kevlar canoe into the shore; otherwise a sharp rock could puncture it. So landings involve getting as close as possible then stepping out into the lake. But watch out! You could sink into bottomless muck, or slip on a slanted rock, off a ledge and into an Abyss. Some portage landings have deep drop offs with only a narrow slanted, slippery slimly green shelf to step on.
On the second to the last day we did a monster 240 rod portage among other portages. Then latter in the day we couldn’t find an open campsite on our destination lake. (You can only camp at designated campsites in the BWCA). So we had to soldier on to the next lake which required trudging through another 230 rod portage. If we didn’t find a campsite on the next lake, then we would have to continue on another portage and another lake to keep looking. The problem was we getting close to the Sawbill entry point, which means easy access to the neighboring campsites and thus high chances of no vacancies. We were running out of daylight and energy. We finally found an open campsite and it was perfect. We quickly setup camp because there were sounds of thunder and it was getting dark. We started making dinner in the dark, but a storm hit with rain and heavy winds (no lighting) so we threw everything under a canoe and took refuge under some pine trees. We were so lucky we were at a camp on not on a lake when the storm hit. On the last day we encountered very strong winds that made it challenging to cross the lake without being flipped over. Everybody managed to stay dry.
We had three canoes, one for my brother and his wife, one for my oldest son (16) and my wife, and one for my youngest son (13) and me. I let my boys and wife do much of the navigation and decision making. Actually, they just did it because they knew that dad is not always right. Everyone carried heavy packs and did their part. An adventure like this is really a growth experience in many ways. I could see confidence build in my boys as they tackled challenges. The experience also brings us much closer together and will last a life time.
Expect some pictures in a few days.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
BWCA
I’m taking my family to the Minnesota Boundary Waters Canoe Area (BWCA) next week. The BWCA is about 1.3 million acres of wilderness that is set aside to protect its primitive character. There are about 15 hiking trails and about 2000 designated campsites. Most of the campsites can only be reached by canoe. During the six days in the wilderness we’ll traverse dozens of lakes connected by portage trails. I’ve been to the BWCA three times, twice in the winter traveling by snowshoe and once in the summer with my oldest brother. My brother and his wife will be going with us, which is good because they are seasoned BWCA experts. Well I better get out the door to do my run; it’s getting to be kind of a late start.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Time to Party
I met with my oncologist today to discuss my recent PET scan results. The up-tick in activity that was seen a month ago is diminishing. Both my radiologist and oncologist agree that the scan is picking up inflammation of the scar tissue left over from my hernia surgery, and running Grandma’s marathon aggravated it. The PET scan also shows I’m squeaky clean everywhere else. Tomorrow I’m going to celebrate with a 20 mile run. Hmmm, maybe I need to re-evaluate what I consider fun.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
TC Marathon Training
My training for the Twin Cities marathon started out sporadic. There was the 4th of July holiday with a big party at our house that required a lot of preparation, then a week long business trip to Phoenix, which as very hot for running. I’m also trying not to let my training impact family life. My plan was to run only on week days. Since I’m still a working stiff, I need to start very early in the morning, 5:30AM for my short runs and 4:00 to 4:30 AM for my long runs. I haven’t been able to exactly stick to that plan. So far my long runs have been on the weekends, but I do get started very early to finish before the rest of my family is ready for breakfast. This week I have a PET scan to see if the positive results from the previous scan was just a false alarm or not. I’ll have to take a break from running for a couple of days because I cannot do anything strenuous 24 hours before the PET scan. I plan to celebrate a good PET scan result with a 20 mile run Saturday morning.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Chemo-Man Runs Again
I’ve taken some time off from my blog and I’m now ready to get back to it. This spring when my oncologist informed me I was cancer free I was eager to get my life back to normal, and I thought that partially meant to put the whole Chemo-Man and blogging thing behind me. However I have come to realize that is impossible and would be a bad move.
I am haunted by the fear of a reoccurrence of cancer every time I have a PET scan and go over the results with my doctor. My last PET scan in July showed an increase in metabolic activity in the lymph nodes in my groin. I’ve learned that this happens frequently and most of the time turns out to be a false alarm. The PET scan cannot tell the difference between cancer and inflamed tissue. It’s common among runners to have inflamed groin lymph nodes and I had just run a marathon one and a half weeks before my PET scan. I have another PET scan scheduled in August to see if anything has changed. If that PET scan shows more positive results, then I’ll have a biopsy. It may go that far just to find out it’s nothing. Based on what I have been told, these false alarms could happen again and again over the next few years while I’m being monitored very closely. So I still have in front of me a tremendous challenge of fighting the physiological haunting of my cancer.
If I let myself dwell in fear and grief, then cancer will have won. I will not give in. I will not let cancer take precious time away from me and my family. However, I can’t walk away from it, I need to take it head on and fight it. Chemo-man is about being positive and pursuing dreams despite the challenges. Writing my blog makes me feel good. It’s like being in a support group. It’s also a way for me to pay it forward. During my despair just after being diagnosed I stumbled across stories of people battling cancer with running and positive attitude. They showed me that I didn’t have to give up my life and my dreams during or after chemo therapy. My hope is my blog will do the same. If I can help just one person it will be all worth it.
There may be a time when Chemo-Man retires, but for now I have still a lot to say. My journey continues on in a new direction. I don’t know exactly where, but that’s a wonderful thing about life, it’s full of mystery.
I am haunted by the fear of a reoccurrence of cancer every time I have a PET scan and go over the results with my doctor. My last PET scan in July showed an increase in metabolic activity in the lymph nodes in my groin. I’ve learned that this happens frequently and most of the time turns out to be a false alarm. The PET scan cannot tell the difference between cancer and inflamed tissue. It’s common among runners to have inflamed groin lymph nodes and I had just run a marathon one and a half weeks before my PET scan. I have another PET scan scheduled in August to see if anything has changed. If that PET scan shows more positive results, then I’ll have a biopsy. It may go that far just to find out it’s nothing. Based on what I have been told, these false alarms could happen again and again over the next few years while I’m being monitored very closely. So I still have in front of me a tremendous challenge of fighting the physiological haunting of my cancer.
If I let myself dwell in fear and grief, then cancer will have won. I will not give in. I will not let cancer take precious time away from me and my family. However, I can’t walk away from it, I need to take it head on and fight it. Chemo-man is about being positive and pursuing dreams despite the challenges. Writing my blog makes me feel good. It’s like being in a support group. It’s also a way for me to pay it forward. During my despair just after being diagnosed I stumbled across stories of people battling cancer with running and positive attitude. They showed me that I didn’t have to give up my life and my dreams during or after chemo therapy. My hope is my blog will do the same. If I can help just one person it will be all worth it.
There may be a time when Chemo-Man retires, but for now I have still a lot to say. My journey continues on in a new direction. I don’t know exactly where, but that’s a wonderful thing about life, it’s full of mystery.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Grandma's Marathon Photos
The marathon train at about 5AM. The marathon train leaves Duluth Minnesota at 5:30AM and arrives in Two Harbors at about 7AM to see the 7:30AM start of the marathon.
My parents and my two sons going first class. Here I was feeling bad that my family had to wake at 3:30AM to get to the train on time. But while I was running my butt off in the heat, they were sipping wine, champange, bloody mary's and being served a hot breakfest. I was eating energy gels.
My brother and his wife. My brother is a Emmy award winning professional video journalist. Many of the pictures you see were taken by him. In fact, he is so good this picture you are looking at was taken by him.
Passengers of the marathon train are allowed to get out on the tracks to see all the hubbub at the starting line just outside of Two Harbors, Minnesota.
A view from the bar car. Passengers were allowed to roam about the train to get many different vantage points.
7103 runners packed in like sardines at the starting line. The blob of runners eventually stretchs out, where the first runner finishes at about 2 hours and 17 minutes and the last runners finish at about 6 hours.
For the first twenty miles Grandma's marathon offers beautiful country side scenery along Lake Superior, then the last 6 miles is through residential and urban neighborhoods of Duluth, then ending at the Duluth harbors on Lake Superior.
The open air car on the marathon train.
A water station for the runners. There were many tables like these at each water station. I'm just guessing but there was probably about 30 to 50 workers at each water station. This picture was taken while the elites were running through, otherwise there would have been hordes of runners gulping down water.
Running through Duluth Minnesota. This part of the run was in a relatively open area near the harbor. The course runs through the heart of downtown Duluth.
Grandma cheers on runners as they cross the finish line.
Some runners were carried across the finish line and some were wheeled across. Imagine running 26 miles only to break down within a hundred yards of the finish line. That's got to hurt.
Chemo-man nearing the finish line.
Crossing the finish line. All of a sudden it's all over. Several months of training, recovering from injuries, maintaining a constant focus on a goal, and then it's all over. It's common for a marathoner to go through some depression after completing a marathon. Not me, I just set sights on the next big event, like a canoe trip in the Minnesota Boundery Waters Canoe Area Wilderness with my family.
My brother.
My parents.
My wife and two boys.
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