$$$ I’ve won the Lottery $$$

I feel like I have won lottery. My PET scan came back squeaky clean and my blood counts are normal. I’m back on my normal schedule of four months between PET scans. The next PET scan will be just two months shy of my second anniversary of starting chemo. After two years my odds of making it five years and beyond are pretty good and the PET scans will be done less frequently. As more time goes on with good PET scans, the more likely it looks like I am cured of cancer.

After my last post I did start to have weird feelings again. The strange feeling is hard to describe, but I feel kind of a tingling in my skin and at the tip of my tongue. I’ll get slight headaches and will feel some nervousness or a little jittery. Sometimes the strange feeling keeps my up at night. I was pretty confident that it wasn’t the cancer coming back, but I was still very anxious to see my doctor. I told him all about it including going cold turkey with caffeine. He said the strange feelings are most likely caffeine withdrawals. Furthermore, since I have undergone one of the strongest chemotherapy treatments that are administered, my body may have more difficulty handling things like caffeine withdrawals. My doctor also said that it can actually take four to six weeks to be completely free of caffeine. He ordered some additional blood tests just to be sure something else isn’t causing the strange feelings. Most of those tests have come back negative and next week I get the remaining results.

I also have a constant tingling in my toes and sometimes my fingers. The tingling in the toes started when I was taking chemo and has never stop since then. Sometimes it gets pretty intense and can be annoying. The tingling, called peripheral neuropathy, is from nerve damage cause by one the chemo drugs called Vincristine or Oncovin (the O in RCHOP). The nerve damage can take up to three years to repair, and in some cases is permanent. I can live with this; it is better than the alternative. One thing is for sure, the tingling does not get in the way of my happiness.

Some things are beyond our control and we have to live with it. But so much in our lives are within our control, like caffeine, eating well, exercising and taking the time for those things that truly give us happiness. Life is the most precious thing we have, nothing else compares to it, yet it is amazing how we so easily waste it and throw it away.